If I ever write a memoir about living next to a greenbelt with a seasonal pond that provides easy animal access from the Issaquah Alps, I’ll call it (and excuse the cascade of iterations, but I couldn’t help myself): Deer on the Deck, Lizards in the Living Room, Hummers in the Hall, Frogs in the Family Room, Snakes on the Stoop, Bobcats Behind Me, and Skinks in the Garage. The unwritten memoir came to mind on Sunday when Fred and I chased a lizard around the dining room an hour before the arrival of dinner guests. We don’t know how these things get in here. Our home is well-insulated and has screens on the windows, and we rarely leave doors open for anything more than entering or leaving. I’ve gotten so paranoid that I’ve started peering out windows before opening doors so I can see how long the line is to get in.
The image with this blog is a great example of what we face. I loved the accompanying text exchange with our housecleaner so much that I took a screen shot. The captured lizard was under a bucket in the garage, and I asked her to release it next to the driveway where there was plenty of groundcover. The next morning, I stepped out on the stoop to give Fred a wave as he headed to a meeting. Once he’d backed his car past the groundcover, a lizard – the same one? – came running out onto the driveway and scooted as fast as his little lizard legs could carry him, managing to reach the garage interior just before the door closed. I mean … what the hell?
So we chase, curse, and capture, yelling things like “What is that?” or “Toss a towel on it!” It feels much like business ownership or sales territory management: Just about the time you think everything is AOK and you’re relaxing into complacency and the notion of being the Best Owner/Sales Rep Ever, when you think you have your ducks in a tidy row and believe you and your employees are being vigilant, when you know your processes are top-notch and your digital tools have been appropriately upgraded, a wrench gets tossed in it and you’ll find yourself running from one fix to the next. And there’s always a “next.” When you’re overrun, remind yourself to keep a sense of humor. Total control is an illusion anyway, and challenges can be invigorating and help you change direction. And never, ever pick up a lizard by the tail because you’ll just end up holding a tail.
Cheers!
Pat Detmer
4/27/22